The Mira Life Project (2024)

December, 2021

BASELINE QUESTIONS

Given Name: David Joseph

Desired Name: Mira

Legal Name: Mira Carleen

Desired Gender: Female

Legal Gender: Female

LGBT Status: Transgender Woman

Relationship Status: Single

1)How Long Have You’ve Been On HRT (Without stopping more than a week)?

A: 39 Months (Enrolled In The Program) and 37 Months of compliance with HRT.

2)How Long Have You Been Going By The Name Mira?

A: 30 Years (Personally)

3)How Long Have You Been ‘Mira’ Legally?

A: 3 Years

4)How Long Have You Identified As Female?

A: About 30 Years (Personally)

5)How long have you’ve been legally Female?

A: 3 Years Now

6)Do You Regret Your Decision To Transition?

A: Never! I’ve been quite happy with my transition to female. I have found that appearing and identifying as female has released my stress and tension that I once felt as David.

7)How Long Have You Known That You Were Transgender (LGBT)?

A: I never learned about the transgender community, until my late years in collage (2004). Before then, I thought my dysphoria was a disease that I should be ashamed of. I didn’t start considering that I might have been transgender until the year 2016. I legally had to sign documents, labeling I was transgender in 2018 (Cedar River Clinics).

The diagnosis of ‘Male-to-Female Transgender’ and ‘Gender Dysphoria’ were not established until 2019.

LGBT QUESTIONS

1)On The LGBT Spectrum, Where Do You Fall; Gender-Wise?

A: Female

2)On The LGBT Spectrum, Where Do You Fall; Sexual-Wise?

A: Lesbian / Interested In Women

3)When Did You Realize That The Term Transgender-Woman Referred To You?

A: At the beginning of 2019 when I began considering legally changing my name from David to Mira. The catalysis that solidified the term was when I decided to make a full gender transition from male to female and began considering surgical intervention to make this a possibility.

Because of these changes, I feel that I can no longer label myself neither as ‘gender-fluid’ or ‘non-conforming’; which were my first labels (2018).

4)When Did You Realize That The Term Lesbian Referred To You?

A: Around February 2019 when I rekindled my relationship with my girlfriend. We considered the aspect of our relationship, and because I yearn to become female legally, physically, and sexually…it would transform our relationship status from male & female to female & female.

July 2020, I tried to solidify my sexuality as a Lesbian, but I don’t think my girlfriend is comfortable with my decision.

In 2021, I consider myself Lesbian, only privately. As I am not sexually active, and the term really doesn’t apply until I have my vulvoplasty. Even then, I would be Lesbian in a relationship, but not sexually.

5)Are You Comfortable Using The Term ‘LGBT’, Or Calling Yourself A Transgender-Woman; And / Or A Lesbian?

A: Personally, I don’t like labels. I will use the term LGBT when writing on forums or speaking to my physicians. But it isn’t a term I use openly in public.

As for the label of Lesbian, I avoid that word. I don’t like it as it implies that I am sexually active with another woman. I am not even in a relationship!

6)Are You Currently Active In The Trans Community Or LGBT Community?

A: Not physically, but I want to become active in the future. COVID has blocked all community meetings at this time, in my area. I do however still post to my Transgender blog about my research and updates.

7)Have You Reached Out To A LGBT Center For Help?

A: No. I have not needed the assistance of a LGBT Center since 2017. My last communication was to the main LGBT Center in Seattle, but they were not helpful. Personally, LGBT Centers are pointless.

8)Who Was The First Person You Talked To, About Being Transgender?

A: Unofficially, that would have been my girlfriend, Ruth.

Before I started HRT, I mentioned to her that I thought that I might be gender-fluid or gender nonconforming. She replied that she had suspicions that I might be transgender as I always associated as female in our relationship. She also thought I might be asexual due to my displeasure in intimacy.

9)What Is Something Positive About Being Transgender?

A: It isn’t the same for every person, but being Trans has allowed me to accept my feminine nature without apology for my physical sexual appearance. Before transitioning, I was very unhappy with my life. I believe my displeasure had a negative effect on my overall mental and physical health.

With the aid of being male-to-female transgender, I’ve been allowed to conform to the mental image in my mind, and not be afraid to my empathic and intuitive.

10)What Are Some Fears About Being Transgender?

A: There are many fears that come along with not being transgender, but with dysphoria. My greatest fear that I have dealt with in 2021 was the fear of someone finding out that I am not completely female. It has driven my need to finalize my metamorphosis.

I feel this fear amplified if I wear tight fitting pants or go swimming. I am almost certain that nothing would happen, but I don’t want to risk it.

11)How Do You Manage Your Dysphoria?

A: In 2021, I’ve managed my dysphoria with committing to the program, having my regular medical checkups, seeing a psychologist monthly (since July), writing stories and blog posts, and being truthful of my feminine nature.

12)What Steps Have You’ve Done To Further Your Compliance And Develop Your Feminine Identity?

A: In Jan 2021, I was still healing from my Facial Feminization (10-2020) and was preparing for my Breast Augmentation (1-4-2021). I’ve been complying with my healing regiments by exercising the tissue in both breasts to reduce scar tissue (capsular contracture) from forming around the implants, and to help encourage blood flow to give the breasts a soft and flexible nature.

By 4-2021, my implants finally fluffed out and settled by 7-2021.

I did a month of vocal feminization, but discontinued due to poor quality of service.

I also began the application work to have my consultation with Dr. Dy at OHSU to discuss vulvoplasty. In preparations for this possible surgery (up to a year away, possible, due to COVID); I have hired a psychologist to review my mental health every month.

It is my hopes that after building a trust with her, I can depend on her greatly, after my post-opts. I have read many reports on the psychological aftermath of GRS(SRS) and want to have all my bases covered.

Lastly, in 10-2021, I enrolled in a Japanese Dance Academy that teaches me feminine manners, body movement, and etiquette.

13)How Have You’ve Embraced Your Transgender Identity?

A: I’ve embraced my transgender identity by embracing my feminine identity. I’ve pushed my past aside and look to the future. I understand that I have a male physiology, but I don’t let that interfere with my happiness as being emotionally and chemically female.

14)How Do You Feel About The LGBT Laws Where You Live?

A: Washington is quite friendly to the LGBT. According to a 2019 Gallup Poll, roughly 5.2% (342,000) people are on the spectrum. We have Nondiscrimination laws for both sexual orientation and gender identity. It is also unlawful to discriminate against a person who is trans; which is nice.

By law, healthcare cannot deny or discriminate against a person’s gender identity (but sexual orientation is only protected under private insurance laws). Overall, my experience with healthcare is about 50/50.

In June of 2021, Gov. Inslee signed the LGBT Pride Month proclamation, giving the month of June as Pride Month to the LGBT.

Starting Jan 2022, health insurance companies operating in Washington will be required by law to cover gender affirming surgeries and care (SB 5313). This will be a great relief to many, as I’ve experienced denial-of-care by the insurance for both FFS and BAS. I privately fought each denial and overturned them with my methodology, gaining full coverage for the procedure.

15)What Are Your Views On The Cis-Gendered Community?

A: Unchanged. Cis-gendered individuals, like myself before 2017, can also be transgender without showing it. And actually, most people will experience some form of gender dysphoria in their lifetime.

BODY-TYPE (DYSPHORIA) QUESTIONS

1)Facial Features (Desired)

A: Completely feminine.

In 2020, I finally was able to have my masculine traits reduced. Dr. Nuara wasn’t all to thrilled to do everything in one surgery, but to my shock at the moment of pre-opts, he did everything (plus more) to give me the face that I wanted.

The surgery took over eight hours to complete!

The areas worked on, were the areas that I was most concerned about:

A) The brow was shaved down. The sinus plate was removed and shaved down too, and fused back to the skill with titanium fasteners.

B) The orbital rims were reduced to open up my eyes; but I am unsatisfied with the results on the right eye.

C) My hairline was brough down to undo male pattern baldness.

D) My lips were brought out to give them a fuller appearance. The philtrum was reduced, bringing my upper lip closer to my nose.

E) My chin was shaved to cut down the sharp angle.

2) Hair Features (Desired)

A: I am trying to grow my hair to the point that it covers beyond my nipples. That will be a perfect length that I would like to achieve.

I prefer straight hair, but mine is naturally wavy and does not straighten well. I have been blonde for almost 18 months. I have decided to returned to a darker color in December of 2021. I plan to return to blonde in June of 2022.

3)Neck Features (Desired)

A: I prefer a neck that is slender and feminine in appearance.

I had my neck tightened during my facial feminization, removing the second chin below. Slender and feminine.

4)Shoulders Features (Desired)

A: Shoulders typically are not one of my areas that trigger my dysphoria. I have a wide width to my chest, and thus, my shoulders are around 17 inches apart.

I prefer to keep them toned and with no long hairs (which really isn’t a problem either, as hair doesn’t grow there).

5)Upper Arms (Desired)

A: The upper arms are not typically one of my dysphoria areas.

With the use of hormones, my upper arm width went from 16 inches (muscular) to 14 inches (toned). I’ve certainly noticed that lifting things isn’t as easy as it was before!

6)Lower Arms (Desired)

A: Again, not one of the areas that I am overly concerned with. I keep my hands and lower arms shaved, as I don’t like body hair. I use to paint my nails, but only done so, about three times this year.

7)Back (Desired)

A: One of the worst places for body hair was my back! It was so embarrassing! Yes, after hormones, the hair had thinned, shorted to around .5cm and turned blonde. It was one of the greatest, welcomed surprises of my HRT.

8)Chest & Breasts (Desired)

A: Like my back, my chest was heavily influenced by male hormones, becoming quite hairy in the process. Hormones only reduced the hair by about 30%, the thickest is still over the sternum. The darkest is around the areolas. Hair growth on the breasts has dramatically slowed down to maybe .3cm per two weeks.

In Jan 2021, I grew to around a full B-cup (46/48), but fit comfortably in a C-Cup during the growth cycles.

After surgery, I was raised to a DD/DDD-Cup (46/51) with an implant of 640cc, each.

About five months after my surgery, I underwent a sudden a quite painful growth period that swelled my breasts from 51 inches to 54 inches. Since December of 2021, my breasts have not shrunken down, remaining around 54 inches (full bust measurement). This was actually glandular development, as I’m develop ‘atop’ the implants, making them hard to feel during daily massages.

At this moment, my new D-bras that I bought (and fit nicely) now are too small, as I overflow. It is likely that I will need to find a bra that is G/H Size.

at 46/53.

I will be returning to see Dr. Schmitt in 2024 for a checkup on the implants.

9)Belly And Waist (Desired)

A: The belly and waist are not triggers of my dysphoria, only annoyances from poor diet choices. Only thing that I desire to modify is the removal of any hair that grows on my belly.

10)Buttock (Desired)

A: The buttock wasn’t something that I was overly concerned about. Yet, hormones caused some amusing and feminine transformations to take hold.

At the beginning, my hips/buttock measurement were around 49.5/50 inches. Today, around 54.5 inches. I can certainly tell that my buttock has nearly doubled in size; as I had a rather diminished subcutaneous fat layer, but very wide feminine-like hips.

Since then, my buttock has toned with a lovely upside-down heart shape.

11)Upper Thighs (Desired)

A: Upper thighs are not really a concern of mine. Due to my build, height and abnormally larger hips (in cis-males), I will always carry a little extra weight in this region. Oddly though, I’ve lost inches here; from 30-inch diameter to 26.5 inches in diameter

12)Lower Legs (Desired)

A: No changes are desired here; I am pretty happy with them. I only wish to keep them shaved for wearing skirts.

13)Feet (Desired)

A: Feet are ugly, no matter what you do with them. I have no desire to change them though.

14)Hands (Desired)

A: No desired physical change.

In July of 2021, I stopped having my nails painted due to COVID restrictions and contracting a painful infection in my left big toe, just after having my toenails painted. It took one year to defeat that infection!

15)Genitalia (Desired)

A: Of all the parts that I don’t like talking about, or writing about; it would certainly be the genitalia.

Ever since I was nine years old, I’ve always had a disconnect with the genitalia that I was forced to have. It was gross having a penis on my body—it just felt that it didn’t belong there!

The best way I can describe it: Imagine waking every morning to the wrong genitalia that makes you want to vomit with the idea that you might have to use it. Even talking about it, on my own body is like undergoing shock therapy—makes my stomach clinch so badly that it screws up my digestive system for a week!

My main dysphoria is my penis—I will not allow myself to become intimate with another, choosing isolation and loneliness to hide my shame. I wear clothing that especially covers this region; careful every day to be certain that its imprint does not show.

Using the restroom, showering, undressing—it is a nightmare. I’ve trained myself never to look or look in reflective surfaces as I can’t take the blasphemy that I was cursed to carry! This is what I deal with when it comes to my sexuality, and why I’ve became asexual in nature.

Mentally, I expect to see female genitalia when I wake. It is hard to put in words, but it seems natural to me to have a vagin*, cl*tor*s, and labia. In my mind, it is perfect symmetry—perfect balance. It is the only form that I feel comfortable revealing if I am in a serious relationship or at the hospital.

With my surgical consultation coming up in less then a month, I have rather detailed results that I wish to see in post-opts.

Since I am not sexually attracted to men, I feel that having a full vaginoplasty is like buying a yacht on Mars, pointless and useless. The upkeep for a transgender woman with a vaginoplasty is really taxing and exhaustive with a higher risk for infection.

Secondly, my choice against a vaginoplasty is the painful requirement of having hair removal in the genitalia. This would absolutely devastate me! First, I am not comfortable with my own genitalia, so why would I wish to expose them to a stranger for them to touch! Secondly, the pain! I’ve had laser on my face, neck, and chest—and even with numbing cream, it is barely tolerable!

It is because of these reasons that I’ve decided to only have a vulvoplasty; though I am open to doing a minimal-depth vaginoplasty for dysphoric reasons. (Also, having the title ‘vaginoplasty’ might help with the mental adjustment of actually having a vagin*, and not just a flat void).

Appearance is very important to me. I am my biggest critic, and if I think that it looks fake, or mutilated; I fear this would only lead to future problems.

I have no need for a deep canal, but I would like my pseudo-vagin* to be between 1.5-2 inches in depth. This will be big enough to maintain the illusion and use in stimulation.

I plan to ask for a vulvoplasty with the maximum possible depth possible for the pseudo-vagin* without the full depth as seen in a vaginoplasty. I will be seeing Dr. Dy at OHSU on January 26th 2022 to discuss these questions.

MENTAL/PHYSICAN EVALUATION QUESTIONS

Aspects Of The Feminized Brain

1)Have You’ve Grown Fond Of The Color Pink?

A: Yes. I now have two pink shirts that I wear many times a year. I find that the color pink is very useful in emphasizing my feminine nature when I am having a difficult day with my dysphoria.

2)Have You’ve Noticed Any New Scents Coming Off Your Body?

A: Not recently. I’ve adjusted to the new scents of my pheromones.

3)Have You’ve Notice Any Scent Sensitivities Since Transitioning? (New Question For 2021)

A: Oh yes! My tolerances for scents have dramatically changed! Before, I could tolerate some of the worst scents possible: like sewage, rotten eggs, or mold. Now, these same scents cause me to nearly vomit.

4)Have You Subconsciously Used ‘Female Pronouns’ In Describing Yourself?

A: Yes. It is weird to think of myself as ‘he’, ‘him’, or ‘male’. I first noticed this new way of thinking when I tried to describe my past during therapy. I stumbled over the pronouns, wanting to use female pronouns instead of male. I paused thinking: ‘Well, that was weird!’

I also have noticed that my dreams have begun to change too! I see myself now mainly as female with female pronouns. It was very weird, as I am not in control of my subconscious thoughts.

5)Have You Started ‘Mentally Seeing’ Yourself Only As A Female?

A: Yes. It isn’t something that I dwell on; but one day, I was looking at photos and when I saw my old self, it was like looking at a stranger. Typically, I have always mentally saw myself as female, long before HRT. It is this female personality that has taken over.

6)Has Your Demeanor Become ‘Feminine?’

A: Yes! I notice that I still walk masculine from time to time; but I’ve taken up Japanese ‘feminine’ dance to enforce a feminine demeanor. My sensei is really nice in helping me behave like a proper female (Japanese temper). I’ve noticed that 1.5 months into the program, my walk and demeanor has changed to a more graceful gait.

7)Have You Expressed A More Feminine Approach When Talking? (New Question For 2021)

A: Yes, I find that when I am relaxed, I will slip into an in-between state where I emphasize my words with a feminine manner, with an androgynous vocal tone. However, when I am out in public; I am more tense and very careful with my voice.

8)Have You Been Drawn To Appreciate Cute-Looking Things, With An Emotional/Empathic Attachment? (New Question For 2021)

A: I added this question, as this is something new that I’ve discovered about myself this year. I found that when seeing cute stuff animals, cute anime characters, baby animals, baby children, or cute moment on TV; I feel overly emotional about it, sometimes acting a bit ‘girly’.

I believe that this behavior is tied to my once buried feminine nature. I did some research and found that many transwomen experience this also.

9Have You’ve Experienced PMS-Like Symptoms? (New Question For 2021)

A: I believe so.

I notice that my body seems to cycle with the lunar cycle. Since being on hormones, it has become apparent that something odd has changed.

It is almost like clockwork, five days of misery. Usually, my first warning of the cycle is tender breasts, followed by stomach pain, feeling tired, bloated, and moody.

I’ve tried to mend the pain with Tylenol and home remedies, but nothing had helped. I might want to try something like Midol to see if it helps. Usually, I just use hot showers and lots of rest.

As much as I hate feeling this way monthly, I take solace in the idea that I am being empathetic with the females of my family. Considering empathy as being a dominate feminine trait: being empathic could be a link that aligns all the females of my family to syncing up their cycles, one after the other.

10)Have You’ve Experienced Crying At Any Sad Moment? For Example, TV, Movie, Music, etc. (New Question For 2021)

A: Oh my gosh, yes!

Before my transition, I hardly shed a tear—for it was forbidden! I remember that I was so emotionless that I didn’t even weep at my grandfather’s funeral until later that night.

Now, it seems that anything with a sad, or emotional moment will have me in tears. I’ve even tried not to cry, but usually never win that game. I find that the hardest cries come when I am feeling someone else’s pain, even if they are not real.

Some media that I avoid in public (as they are instant crying) is Johnny Cash’s song ‘Hurt’. Movies likes: Your Voice, Weathering With You, Only The Brave, A Silent Voice, When Marnie Was There, Archive.

11)Have You’ve Been Looking At The Other Sex, After Two Years Being On Hormones? (New Question For 2021)

A: Yes. I notice that just prior to my cycle; I seem to become infatuated with men. It is a weird emotional feeling, as I am not sexually attracted to men; I just feel connected to them emotionally. Wanting to be held and protected.

12)Have You’ve Noticed Any Cravings For Certain Salty Foods? (New Question For 2021)

A: Yes. I had to do some deep research to learn of a cause.

I always have craved salt, but recently, it’s been an obsession! Like I can’t get enough!

If I am not controlling what I consume, I can eat an entire jar of pickles. This is possibly due to spironolactone.

These food changes have reached new levels of ‘weirdness’ as I never liked vinegar; but spilled tarragon white vinegar on my hand and licked it, finding it actually good.

Feminized Aspects Of Social Influence

1)What Cup Size Do You ‘Want’ Your Breasts To Be?

A: D-cup is my ideal size.

I am already between D and DD(E)-cup size. It is a quite large size; resulting in many of my shirts not fitting well.

Secondly, I’ve found that D-cup puts a great deal of stress on the back. It is also difficult to sleep as they are large (but not impossible to cope with).

My ideal size would be between D-E as C-cup is disproportionate to my frame; and anything over E-cup just sounds absolutely uncomfortable!

My main goal that I had, before surgery was:

1) If laying down, I don’t want my breasts to simply disappear like they use to

2) If without a bra, I can still wear a dress and look ‘full’

3) Natural appearance!

2)Has Your Sexuality Changed?

A: I don’t think so.

I know that something hormonally has made me acceptive of having a FTM or MTF mate. However, I am not interested in cis-men. I prefer a female relationship, both sexually and intimate.

3)Do You Feel Sexually-Active As A Woman Right Now?

A: No…I still have my penis.

I know that I want to experience feeling sexual, as a woman…and my body seems to be changing the thresholds of pleasure from the groin to the breasts. They seem to be my new drive. I know that I have been asked if I want to experience sex as a man, just before losing my penis in surgery; but that thought makes me want to vomit!

4)Has Your Attention To Beauty Changed From The Time You Were A Cis-Male?

A: Yes.

I seem obsessed about my hair! I am also very observant to what I am wearing and how I appear to other people. I have not needed makeup much this year, thanks to the mask laws here in Washington.

5)Do You Desire Fuller Lips?

A: Yep…and have them!

6)Has Transitioning Enhanced Your Desire To Be A Parent?

A: Yes. Mainly to nurture a new generation! But I am turned away from the society that we are experiencing right now. Considering that I am sterile (before HRT), if I was in a relationship where my partner and I want a child, I’d probably adopt.

7)How Do You Navigate The Concept Of Sex While Being Dysphoric?

A: I don’t. I tried to open a consensual relationship with Ruth in 2020; but it was a terrible experience! I would like a deep consensual experience after my genital surgery.

8)Do You Believe That Your Brain Has Been Feminized?

A: I know science is still out on debating regarding this topic; but I have to say yes. As a scientist, I observe my transition from an emotional side and a logical side. I’ve noticed that my empathy and emotions are almost 100% heightened from when I was a male! I cry at the silliest of sad moments, and find that I am becoming attracted to ‘cute’ things.

I find enjoyment in watching romantic movies, as it is an emotional rollercoaster. I also notice that my speech and behavior has changed, becoming feminine.

My mental cognition really hasn’t changed much from before to now—I’ve always had a dominate creative empathic side, and a dominate (yet weakened) logical side (as reflected in my grades).

CULTURAL CHALLENGES (FOR TRANS-WOMEN)

1)Have You Been Outed For Being Transgender This Year?

A: Not this year.

2)Have You Been Misgendered This Year?

A: Yes, but only by my grandmother. I think she does it on purpose.

3)Have You Been Physically Harmed Or Abused, Because You Are Transgender?

A: No.

4)Have You Been Mentally Harmed Or Abused Because You Are Transgender?

A: Yes. Sometime the words unspoken to cut like a thousand knives. Actually, went writing this report for the end of the year assessment, I had to deal with the psychological harm that came from my grandmother. She heard about my appointment and was very rude and disrespectful, behind my back.

5)Have Your Family Fully Accepted Who You Are?

A: Mostly. They respect me for being female and calling me by my name. Many members of my family either don’t understand, are arrogant, or hurtful.

6)How Do You Deal With Being Misgendered By Cis-People?

A: I brush it aside. Confrontation isn’t what I feel comfortable doing. I prefer to live by the saying: ‘You cannot respect me; I don’t have to acknowledge that you exist.’

7)How Has Been Your Experience With Public Restrooms?

A: I avoid them at all cost! I personally believe that only females with vagin*s use female locker rooms and restrooms. And males with penises use male locker rooms and restrooms. As a female with still a penis, I disqualify myself from using a public restroom (unless it is an unavoidable emergency). And because of my male sexual organ, I have completely stopped swimming because of the locker rooms to reach the pool.

8)If You Are Religious; Has Being Transgender Conflicted With Your Spiritual Care?

A: I use to be Lutheran; but I’ve denounced my faith and became a spiritualist. I have been considering following the Shinto faith, as it aligns with my personal beliefs.

9)Do You Feel Comfortable Answering Simple Questions About Being Transgender By:

A)Family: Yes, as long as it isn’t about SRS(GRS)

B)Friends: Yes, if they are trusted.

C)Strangers: No…they must become my friend.

D)Online: Yes…but very limited on personal information.

10)What Is Something You Loved To Do That You Are Unable To Do Now As A Transgender Woman?

A: Swim! I miss swimming. I am terrified that someone might see something and cause me harm in my community’s only pool. So, I will wait until SRS(GRS) is complete.

LIFESTYLE CHANGES QUESTIONS

1)Have You Grown Your Hair Longer And / Or Modified It In The Last Year?

A: Yes, it is almost three inches longer than last year! 16-17 inches long right now. Measuring shows that at 23 inches, I would achieve my desirable length.

2)Have You Worn Makeup In The Past Year? Or Stopped Wearing Makeup?

A: I’ve only worn makeup four times this year. COVID has made wearing makeup obsolete. I still like to dress up for holidays.

3)Have You Worn High Heels In The Past Year? Or Not Worn High Heels?

A: I want to…I just can’t find a pair the fits a size 15!

4)Have You Worn A Skirt In The Past Year?

A: So many times! I probably wear a skirt over 100 times a year. I’m bought five new skirts just this year!

5)Have You Worn A Dress In The Past Year?

A: A few times. Dresses just don’t work on a farm. I like to wear a dress when going out on the town.

6)Have You Worn A Blouse In The Past Year?

A: Nearly every day!

7)Have You Worn Any Form Of A Bra In The Past Year?

A: Every day! I don’t feel right without having one on. It isn’t proper. I am thinking of buying a sports bra when I am dancing. I bought my first cotton bra this year.

8)Have You Worn Any Feminine Undergarments In The Past Year?

A: Just panties.

9)Have You Gotten Your Ears Pierced? Body Piercings?

A: No, but my family keeps suggesting getting my ears pierced.

10)Have You Started Wearing ‘Feminine’ Jewelry?

A: Yes, I continue to wears rings and necklaces.

11)If You Had Some ‘Passing Tips’ To Offer Other Transgendered Individuals, What Are Some Things That You Learnt This Year, To Help You Pass?

A: Don’t be afraid to take a leap of faith. Sometimes learning from a different culture can help enrich your etiquette and feminine identity.

12)Have Being Transgender Held You Back From Your Career Choice?

A: No, I am still medically discharged.

13)How Is Your Relationship With Your Doctor(s)?

A: Very nice! Dr. Worth is quite professional and tends to my care quite well. Mrs. Mulligan is very through with my mental health, being certain that I am ready for my really uncomfortable conversation in January.

13)Since Transitioning, Have You’ve Noticed Your Physical Health Improving? (New Question For 2021)

A: Yes. Before my use of hormones in 2018; I was very sick from 2014-2017. My asthma and cystic fibrosis had severely damaged my lungs and caused inflammation in my bronchus. At one point, I was given two years to live.

After starting HRT, I noticed that my weekly asthma attacks that usually placed me in the hospital has weaken in severity. The swelling wasn’t as severe.

With decreased stress, and estrogen (an anti-inflammatory) in my blood; my hospitalizations dropped dramatically to the point of only three ER visits in 2021!

Here is a chart of Inpatient Stays prior to HRT and on HRT:

COMPLIANCE QUESTIONS

1)Right Now, Are You Complying To A Feminine Attire? If So, What Is It?

A: Yes, I am in compliance.

This is New Year’s Eve and I am wearing a new blouse that I received for Christmas from mother. It is a silvery metallic sheen blouse with a belt, tried in a nice musubi knot. I am wearing my feminine undergarments with a vermillion-colored pleated skirt. My hair is brushed back with a single red band to hold it in place.

2)Right Now, Are You In A Serious Relationship?

A: Not really. I no longer feel that Ruth and I are compatible. The event happened two years ago, on the 4th of July (2020); when I learned that Ruth didn’t consider me as a serious partner. She revealed her true feeling for some other girl; saying she’s even slept with her. This goes against my morals.

I continue to maintain on my Facebook account that she and I are dating, as we officially have not called it off. But I feel it is just a means to protect us both from harassment of pervy guys on the internet. It is complicated. My social media site says that I am in a relationship, but I don’t feel that I am in one. I just allow the social media illusion to continue so I don’t receive many gross messages.

Overall, I hold out hope for a relationship with her, but I just don’t think it will happen anytime soon.

3)Right Now (Without Using Goggle), Write Out Something Positive About Yourself Using The Letters Of Your First Name:

A: M: Miracle I: Intelligent R: Romantic A: Admire

4)Please Explain In Your Own Opinion, Your Transition Process And What You Have Gone Through To Transition Into A Transgender Individual.

A: I began transitioning in June of 2018, but didn’t take my pills religiously, as I was scared of changing too fast. In 2019, I transferred my care to Dr. Worth and in June, I changed my name from David to Mira. In 2020, I underwent facial feminization. By 2021, I took vocal feminization lessons and then underwent breast augmentation.

I hope in 2022 that my meeting with Dr. Dy will go well and have surgery sometime in 2022 or 2023. Afterwards, I can focus on relationships, swimming, and proper female etiquette.

5)Which Feature Of Your Body Do You Like The Most Since HRT?

A: Respectfully, I would have to say my breasts. There is something more then having breasts to look sexually attractive, or self-gratification. Since January of this year, I have not needed to worry about forms, or if I will look ridiculous trying to wear a strapless dress. Just having them is a major step in balancing the spirit and the body as one.

6)Which Feature Of Your Body Do You Dislike The Most Since HRT?

A: Certainly, would have to say my male genitalia. I can write a list of things I dislike about it; but I have to be honest, I have two things that make having a penis ‘useful’: Outdoor urination & lower chance of UTI’s.

However, I’d trade convince any day to feel ‘balanced’.

I’ve already mentioned how having male genitalia makes me feel; and in reflection, I am afraid that if I fail to convert to female genitalia; it could lead to serious consequences!

For example, in my whole life, I’ve only had one physical, back in 1999. That experience with Dr. Anderson still bothers me to this day. To make matters worse, I have a family history of male reproductive issues that might have affect me too. Considering that I am aware that something doesn’t feel right when self-checking, but I will do nothing to bring it to awareness to my physician as the experience would probably lead to suicide.

Romantically, I ‘cannot’ form relationships with males or females; as I won’t let anyone near me, or go to bed with me. No intimacy whatsoever, so I feel grossed out over the anatomical reactions of love.

I know that my adoptive father wishes that I’d at least try once, having sex with a woman, to be certain that this is what I really want to do; but I can’t imagine ever doing that, as I only desire intimacy and sexual stimulation as a female, not a male.

HRT has been a blessing and a curse, when it comes to my top dysphoria.

With hormones, I hardly get aroused (masculine); though this doesn’t mean I don’t have libido—it is just in different places. I am blessed with some shrinkage, and not having to deal with those sexual testosterone urges that use to hit me so hard, I’d be sick.

However, due to my morals and feminine identity and outward appearance; I am more aware of my male genitalia and find it now only a nuisance that I wish to be rid of, for once and for all.

7)With A New Year Coming Soon In A Few Hours; What Is Something You’d Like To Change For 2022?

A: I like to finalize my transition from male to female. I feel that once I am as close as possible to being female; I will begin the long process of healing both physically and spiritually.

8)With A New Year Coming Soon; What Is Your Focus For 2022 Regarding Your Ongoing Battle With Gender Dysphoria?

A: To continued looking towards the future and be happy. It has been a long road since I made my decision to transition. I must prepare for the knowledge that having GRS will probably be the hardest thing that I will ever endure!